What I've realised since coming to university

My first semester at university is over. I knew people said that time flies when you're at uni, but I didn't realise how fast they actually meant. I remember freshers week like it was yesterday, meeting everyone for the first time and not knowing my way around campus and the city. Now, I feel like I've settled in rather well, met some amazing people who I hope will be friends for life. So much has happened in the past 3 months, it's been like one of those dreams where all these different things happen in one night and you wake up sometimes confused hahah. 

I haven't laughed so much in a long time. I feel so happy and content, and just good I guess. There's times where I get myself worked up and worry about things that don't really matter, but I can always work on that. When I'm down, my flat mates pick up on it quickly and always manage to make me laugh. We're all quite good when it comes to that, it's like we all know each other so well, we're very observant of each other.

One thing that has bugged me is that some people have told me over these few months at being at uni I've changed. They've said that I've become selfish and uncaring, which annoyed me a lot, that's not the case at all. I've just been having a good time and enjoying myself, drinking, dressing up etc. I shouldn't be expected to say sorry for living my life, after working my ass off at college for 2 years to get into uni, I think I deserve to enjoy myself :)

I do spend a lot of my time worrying though, and I don't know why. I lay in bed until early hours of the morning, planning what I'm going to do the next day. I over-think too much, but then I see that as motivation. It's like, my way of reminding myself there are things that need to be done, I just wish I could do that in a more 'healthy' way.

I don't really know why I'm even writing this, I haven't blogged for ages. I just think it's important to self reflect every now and then. Before coming to university I thought I had myself all figured out, but that's not the case. I'm quite scattered, like several different people rolled into one; I have different mindsets, depending on my mood. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad I've come to uni and experienced what I have, but a lot of things are starting to get to me and I just think I need a break from everything. Roll on Christmas :)

x